goddiva:

The year is 2020. Robin Thicke’s ten year old son is writing a poem for school. Stumped, the child turns to his father, “Dad, what rhymes with ‘hug me’?” A single tear roles down Robin Thicke’s face as he is confronted with the one question he will never be able to answer.

upgraders:

It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making

blunk182:

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck